I Mother My Way, What About You?

Because I have no time to dwell in other people’s judgements

I believe that mothers have something called the seventh sense; they are completely in tune with their babies needs and they know when it is time to refuse another event at the park because the baby is overwhelmed, and when it is time to call the Healthline in the middle of the night because something isn’t right. I have always refused to give my little one any type of medication. We powered through teething, colds, flu, etc. but I didn’t bat an eyelid when it came the time to administer a high dose of Penicillin to avoid getting complications from a nasty cough.

There are times when an overwhelmed mother doesn’t listen to that innate instinct as she doesn’t know what day of the week it is, and she definitely doesn’t want to be in charge of someone’s else life. Still, the gut feeling of a mother is extremely powerful when it comes down to knowing what is the right step to take, or when it is time to ask for help.

I love Cambridge’s definition of “Instinct”: a natural ability that helps you decide what to do or how to act without thinking. Instinct is not a feeling, but an innate, “hardwired” tendency toward a particular behavior. It is that force that knows when something is wrong with our children, and when something needs to be stopped.

Unfortunately, in this day and era, we tend to suppress our instinct, and we instead try to rationalise the situation, which is not what we are meant to do as mothers and carers.

This is what I stand for:

I do me.

Everyone else can do what they want. It is a human need to wanting to conform, and it can create discomfort, as it leads us to blend with the pack, instead of standing out. When in doubt, close your eyes, listen to your gut instinct and go with it. It always knows better. And don’t worry about being judged, people are too busy dealing with their own life.

Never apologise.

Especially when it comes to prioritizing your bay, and your wellbeing. Don’t apologise for not being able to go to the park if your child needs a nap, don’t apologise if you don’t want to eat that piece of cake that contains soy, which you know will play up with the tiny tummy of your little sunshine; don’t apologise for a stained tee shirt, greasy hairs, soft belly. Don’t apologise if you are forgetful, if you can’t keep up a conversation, or if you can’t phantom to join your friends on a night out. If you feel you need quiet and space, if you feel that being with your baby is more important than doing the laundry, if you feel that eating the right foods will give you the chance to a better night sleep, if you feel you need to lay down on the couch instead of wearing high heels…and you are at peace with it…CONGRATULATIONS, you just nailed motherhood.

Fight for your rights.

Most women tend to be people pleasers, we normally dislike to let other people down, and sometimes we keep up appearances at our own expense. Whenever you catch yourself behaving that way, stop! Fight for your right of breastfeeding in public, use the all 3–6–12 months of parental leave, fight for the right to do what the hell you want and for what is right for your young little family.

Don’t be afraid to be heard.

I have been guilty to keep my mouth shut way too many times in my life. I went through work harassment (twice!!!!), I was molested, I was talked over, I was told to change my body, I was told to get rid of my accent, and during those moments I had never opened my mouth. Then I became a mother, and bring it on universe, because if someone only tries to say an inappropriate word to the little love of my life, it is game on. And it won’t be pretty.

You have a voice, use it to protect yourself and your family, your children will respect you so much because of that!

Be respectful of other people opinions.

We have our gut instincts as much as other mothers do. For some of them is not ok to breastfeeding in public, or to breastfeed at all; others are battling with severe issues and we don’t even know what is going on. While you do you, be respectful of other people opinions; if you think they are not harming their babies (such as slapping them or feeding them poison), let other mothers be, and give advice only when asked. Whenever I receive a piece of unwanted advice, I normally say “Thank you” and change the conversation. It can be as simple as that.

Let the comparison game end.

I don’t even know why we bother comparing our children or family to someone’s else. We are all so different, and we all have different needs. In any department, motherhood, relationship, career, health, comparison is the thief of joy.

My 2 pennies advice is to spend your time in a more purposeful and joy creating activity.