6 Truths That Will Grandly Improve Your life
Let’s address the elephant in the room
On a sunny day, when I was 13, it dawned on me: life wasn’t as easy as I thought when I was a child. That particular gloomy day, while struggling to finish the art project on time, I realised that life was going to be a never-ending series of tests, essays, interrogations, math problems, etc. Until then I thought that playing in nature and eating as much homemade cake as I wanted was what my existence was meant to be; oh, if I was wrong.
Call it anxiety, but after that day life changed, and I stopped being a child and started acting more like a rebellious, often upset, teenager. It was as if freedom had been taken away from me in that particular instant.
It turned out that I was right, and having such a life-changing realisation at an early age, set me up for a life of success and happiness (with all the ups and downs of course). Understanding that there was no fairness and that nothing was going to be given to me for free, stopped me from asking myself the stupidest question: WHY ME!
Truth to be told I had a couple of moments of victimhood in my life (infertility, death of a loved one), but all in all, I grew up knowing that I didn’t deserve to be on planet earth and that every moment had to be treasured to the best of my capabilities.
These are the things I learned early on, and that changed my life for the better:
Everyone has FOMO and suffers from the imposter syndrome
As soon as we understand that everyone — literally everyone — is afraid of missing out and feels that they don’t belong, the more we will feel part of a much larger community. The more we acknowledge that every single human being is scared to the core, the more compassionate we become towards the person sitting next to us.
We are told that we need to stand tall, walk sure-footed, fake it until we make it, but has it been working for us? The moment we look around and stare at our neighbor in the eyes, it will be very easy to see that we are all part of the same shit-scared collective.
Of course, we don’t like not going to that event… What if the man of our dream is waiting and get stolen from us?
Of course, we don’t want to miss dinner with friends…What if they have the chance to bitch about us?
Of course, I don’t feel clever enough for that position… I have only a Uni degree and a master’s degree on the subject, but virtually no work experience (only 5 bloody years)
What if you say FUCK IT, and you think that the love of your life, your friends, and your future boss have the same fears? The sooner you realise they do, the sooner you will be able to sit on the couch and enjoy a night-in. Guilt-free.
You will never get rid of stress
You don’t need to look hard to find where all this stress is coming from in our modern lives. Anything that causes stress is what we refer to as a ‘stressor’, and these are all around us, all the time. While some are physical, others are mental.
Consider the way you start your day: by being woken up in the pitch black, by a beeping noise. Did you know that we chose beeps for alarms because it sounds unnatural? That means that the brain fires up on red alert, and sends panic signals by releasing cortisol and adrenaline into your body.
Then you rush to get ready, heart racing as you worry about what happens if your late — and perhaps dread whatever stressful thing you need to handle that day in the office. Then you head off on your commute, people pushing past you and walking toward you. Horns blaring, smoke thick in the air, and bright billboards flashing in your eyes. All these things triggering more spikes in excitatory neurotransmitters.
At work, you no doubt need to deal with office politics, with deadlines, with people shouting at you down the phone… with the potential prospect of losing your job if you don’t do well, always looming over you. The unnatural light you’re bathed in meanwhile triggers even more arousal, with none of the nourishing effects of vitamin D and fresh air.
Meanwhile, most of the activities we engage in when we try to ‘relax’ involve looking at flashing lights and images of people fighting. When we flick through magazines, we find ourselves being constantly pressured to look better, perform better, and spend more money. Even Facebook is filled with people projecting a false image of success — one that we feel pressured to live up to.
You can breathe now…
I hope I made my point; stressors are everywhere, and stress is how you react to it. You will never get rid of stressors. Deal with this concept and you will suddenly feel freer.
You will always be faced with a new struggle
Great! You landed the job that you wanted and worked so hard for. When you were made redundant you had ample time to enjoy the sunshine, but there was a lingering shadow that didn’t allow you to fully enjoy the experience.
Now you are employed again, and you have to deal with commuting, office policies, new colleagues, long hours at work, and you won’t have as much free time as you had until a second ago.
Or maybe you have tried to get pregnant for ages, and now you are dealing with constant nausea, swollen ankles, and back pain.
Do you see where I am getting at?You will always be faced with a new challenge. We always move, evolve, nothing remain the same for a long time. The Buddhists have been teaching this concept from the beginning of their religion; and still, we resist it. We lie to our faces and we tell us that as soon as we land a new job, get married, have a family, life will be sweet. Stop lying to yourself.
And this brings me to my next point…
If u don’t start appreciating what you got today, you won’t get anywhere
Life, as you know it today, may be your best life. That’s right, and do you know why? Because you are alive. Can you say the same thing about tomorrow with certainty?
Today you are alive, you can breathe, you can make changes, you can work and plan the future that you want, but mostly you can enjoy the now.
Even if you are in prison, even if you are in pain. There is so much freedom in understanding that life is good and sweet exactly how it is. Stop hoping for a better outcome (which doesn’t mean to stop working towards a better outcome — don’t twist my words) and look at what is going around you. I dare to find something worth living today!
Rejection is real
I have been rejected by multiple guys and friends, by real estate agents, by random strangers in the most unusual situations. I have been told I wasn’t a good fit for the job, that the restaurant was fully booked, that I should look for a different counselor. I was told by friends that I was too happy and too hard to be around, I was even told I was too vegetarian and annoying, too fitness-oriented and annoying, too academy focused and annoying. I was told I was plain and not that interesting, the same year someone else told me I was too skilled and intense. Rejection has been part of my life since the beginning of it, and I have stopped trying to avoid it.
The sooner you accept the fact that we all get rejected, that it isn’t personal, and that the world isn’t against you, the sooner you will live a fuller life where you won’t be afraid to challenge yourself and take the next step.
Failing is also real
We only dream about success; we never dream about failing.
We look at people on the cover of magazines and we think they made it, and it was so easy for them; we never think about what they had to go through. Take Britney Spears, for example, an overnight success at the age of 17. Did you know that she started singing and acting at the tender age of 4? She never gave up, never had a proper childhood, and she paid the consequences of living such a daring existence.
If you aren’t trying because you are afraid of failing, let me tell you, my friend…you are already failing!
Claudia is a Qualified Nutrition & Dietetic Consultant (BHSC) specialised in hormonal balance, women’s health, non-diet approach and disordered eating behaviors. She sees clients online and in clinical practice; you can find more about what she offers by following her on Instagram, Facebook, or by checking her website.
